


I'll Be There Soon

by TheClicheInLife



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 10:25:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1185163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheClicheInLife/pseuds/TheClicheInLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only Shepard makes it out of the suicide mission, a success, by definition rings hollow, especially when the one you love slips through your fingers. Her only solace becomes the Main Battery door.</p><p>Spans from the end of Mass Effect 2 through Mass Effect 3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Be There Soon

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was based off of a Tumblr post created by oddiwrthyser, and is totally meant to be a Valentine's day present to all of the wonderful Shakarian lovers out there.

How did it all go so wrong?

There was a numbness thrumming through her body that she hadn’t felt in such a long time – not since Akuze. Her fingers listlessly fumbled with the seals on her armor, the silence in the airlock only broken by the metallic clanging of her armor against the floor.

Walking past Joker she was sure that he had said something, whether it was his condolences or an attempt at a joke, she wasn’t sure, really. Everything was simply white noise.

The ship was empty.

She was too late.

And somehow she found herself in front of the Main Battery door. Collapsing against it she realized just how cold she was.

“Garrus?”

Her voice was met with silence.

Looking down her eyes fell to her scarred hands, the memories still fresh in her mind continued to play over and over.

She could feel his hand, tightly grasped in hers and then it was slipping, he was slipping, and she tried so desperately to pull him up with her – she had lost everyone else, she couldn’t lose him too, not when there was the promise of something there, something that she hadn’t had in such a long time. A sob caught in her throat as her fingers slipped more and more.

“We found that awesome gun on the Collector ship. You really should take a look at it, you know, when you’re not busy calibrating.”

She wanted to hear something, anything. Even if it was just him telling her that he was in the middle of some calibrations, and to come back later. Silence was her only answer once again.

The seconds felt like hours, and the look on Garrus’ face told her that he didn’t blame her – couldn’t blame her, even though she was the reason he was in this mess. She had saved him once, surely she could do it again. If she had only brought someone else, he could have been safe. Instead, she was barely holding on her jade eyes pleading with his azure ones, to just hold on for another moment, for her to regain her strength and pull him up with her. His head shook and then too fast, his hand slipped from hers and she screamed, a sound she hadn’t heard in years, that had been perched under her chin since her hand held his.

She stood on shaking legs, she couldn’t be here. Not right now.

Days melded into weeks. And Shepard refused to leave her cabin; save for her singular trip to the mess early in the morning before Chakwas would wake. She hadn’t spoken to the woman since the day she had rescued her from the Collectors. Only her. Shepard couldn’t even bear to make eye contact with the woman. Her eyes fell on the Main Battery door once more, rations in hand she slowly made her way over, her footfalls echoing against the empty hull.

“The fish make awful company, you know. They don’t have any sarcastic replies to my stories.” She pressed her forehead against the cool metal, “The captain’s cabin gets really lonely, and when you have a chance you should come up, and we could continue where we left off when we…” Her voice faded off as her throat closed.

She could see him on the other side of the door, leaning against the panel he had been glued to since she found him on Omega. Mandible’s flaring in a grin as they spoke about testing his reach and her flexibility. Or the time when she came in after Mordin had spoken to both of them – she was sure that he was doing whatever the turian equivalent to blushing was, because in all her life, she had never seen Garrus that flustered before.

Hearing the Med Bay’s door open Shepard’s head jerked upward and grabbing the rations she dropped she quickly slipped away before the chief medical officer had a chance to see her.

It was decided. Everything seemed to just continue to snowball out of control and she was done. She was going to turn herself in. Informing her that they were just an hour out from Earth, and was she really sure she wanted to do this. She didn’t bother with a response, just silently made her way down to the Main Battery.

Sitting at the door she rested her back against it. She couldn’t go in. It would be too real.  This way, she could simply pretend he was just out, or sleeping or calibrating the damn gun and ignoring her. Anything but the feeling of his fingers slipping from hers.

“I’m turning myself in today, Garrus.” She could feel actual tears now, and this time, she didn’t stop them, “Everything’s fallen apart since…. And I just can’t do this anymore. Garrus please. I need you. Say something. Anything.”

Even the engines fall silent now.

Six months of incarceration and the Reapers rear their ugly heads, and she was once again made Commander of the Normandy. The title rang hollow, though. Looking around the Mess however, she paused, at least the ship wasn’t anymore. Except… The angry red circle on the Main Battery’s door. Shepard turned on her heel towards the elevator.

Palaven fell. The Genophage was cured. The Quarians retook Ranoch at the price of the Geth’s lives. Thessia fell. All that left was London. Everyone could see the wear that Shepard was showing. The fraying of a woman barely holding it together, simply because there was no one else. Right now though, she needed him. Needed someone who would understand. It was just between shifts, two in the morning according to Citadel time, when she slipped down to the Main Battery. Sealing it off had been the first thing she had asked EDI to do, and now, she used her codes to bypass the lock, sitting on the same crates that had been there almost a year ago.

“Garrus? Are you in here? I hope that you can hear me.” Her voice was little more than a whisper, “People keep saying ‘Have courage’ and I’m trying to, but I miss the sound of your voice. I only had you, and now you’re gone, what am I going to do?”

The hum from the canon was her only response, nodding she stood, and exited the main battery, making sure to lock the door behind her, her back against it she sighed and looked at the angry red circle, “I’ll be there soon.”


End file.
